Month: May 2024

Train yourself to relax instead of to grip, and release stored tension to uncover your inner balance

BKS Iyengar was a brilliant and eloquent yogi and teacher, and his wisdom is widely applicable, not only on our yoga mats, but in so many areas of life. I’ve been chewing on this wisdom in the context of my yoga practice, trying to really tune in and notice when I feel my body gripping unnecessarily, which not only prevents deeper stretch, but also interferes with finding that balance between effort and ease that helps us get the most out of our practice. Our bodies tend to grip when they are afraid, uncomfortable, or stressed. I don’t hold it against my body. I mean, honestly, I realize it is just trying to protect me. By tensing the muscles the body is bracing itself for some threat that it believes might be coming. But while our bodies do carry deep inner wisdom, they also sometimes get shit wrong. They tense up in response to an irrational fear when in fact there is no threat, in response to some other underlying emotional situation, in response to anything new or unknown, or simply due to habit built from some past experience. And sometimes they get stuck in that pattern of tension for long periods of time. So on the yoga mat, for example, I tend to grip most in backbends. I think this is pretty common, because backbending feels unfamiliar and uncomfortable for most of us who weren’t acrobats in early life. Backbending can also feel scary for those of us who have had any sort of back pain or injury, OR because backbending exposes our soft and vulnerable front body, which evolutionarily was a risky thing to do if any predator or foe might be nearby and ready to attack.

Fortunately, our brains have the ability to override such unnecessary tension and gripping, and to choose a different way to be. This is the brave and conscious choice that Iyengar mentions. We can choose to relax, instead of to grip. But first, we have to notice that we are gripping. This is where mindfulness is such an important element of our yoga practice. The awareness to notice what is going on in our bodies, to feel that tension, and to recognize that it isn’t normal or necessary, sets the stage for transformation. Once we are aware, we can choose to relax, rather than to grip. And then a whole new world opens up, and our entire physiology can shift toward a healthier way of being. On our mat, this can mean accessing much more depth and stretch as well as tuning in more deeply to that place of balance that brings our nervous system into a place of deep relaxation and healing.

As with most things we practice on our mat, this idea of relaxing rather than gripping is just as relevant, or maybe even more so, off the mat. Do you ever notice that you are randomly holding a bunch of tension in your shoulders, neck, or jaw? I do. All. the. time! And I think, geez, I wonder how long that has been going on. I think a lot of us walk around like this much of the time. And we wonder why we have chronic pain and tension headaches ;). Walking around with this sort of tension in the body is so bad for us in so many ways. Not only does it create that physical discomfort in the area of the tension, which can turn into serious chronic pain and disability, but it can also have many more long term effects. It can result in declining posture, loss of range of motion and function in those areas of the body, as well as chronic fatigue. It can create inflammation and even damage the involved joints, such as the neck, shoulders, or jaw (think TMJ, frozen shoulder, etc). Chronic tension in the body can also set off a vicious cycle of systemic tension, stress, and irritability in the mind, which of course impacts all of our relationships and our overall sense of well-being. Why would we allow this to happen?!

Just as on our mat, mindfulness practices can help us be more aware of our bodies when we are out in the world, allowing us to connect deeply so that we notice much earlier on when this sort of tension begins to arise in the body. And then, under the light of awareness, we can begin to transform our experience. Each time we begin to feel tension rising in the body, we can stop and take a few calming breaths and consciously relax that area of the body. We can begin to bring some insight into the situation, and notice if there are any common precipitating factors or maybe people 😉 that seem to always result in this rising tension in our bodies. And then we can choose to change the situation. Maybe we stop watching the news (or whatever else really triggers your tension), we give ourselves 15 minutes at lunch to get out of the office and go for a mindful walk and some fresh air, or we choose to listen to relaxing music while we drive or do annoying paperwork, or maybe we take time for meditation or a hot bath at the end of a long and stressful day/week. Once we become aware of the things that create the most tension in our lives, we can find ways to create a more peaceful experience for ourselves. And for those stressful parts of our lives that we cannot eliminate or change, at least we can be aware, do our best to breathe through them, and then create recovery and re-centering practices to bring ourselves back to balance as soon as possible when we know we are going to have to be exposed to these stressors. And in this way, off our mat, choosing to relax instead of to grip, can result in us feeling less irritable and reactive, or in us feeling more understanding and gentle. We might find ourselves approaching new challenges with a more open and curious mind, feeling more energy and interest in engaging with the people and the world around us. We might feel physically more at ease, more confident and aligned with ourselves. We might sleep better and feel more like doing activities we know are good for us. And you can just imagine how deeply all of these things would impact our day to day experience.

So make that conscious and brave choice. Start to notice if you carry around the weight of the world, or even just a little bit of unnecessary tension in your body. Give yourself the opportunity to explore that, to understand it, and to recognize all of the ways that you might feel better if you learn to release it. And then just keep practicing. Discover what practices help you to release that tension and find relaxation in your body and mind. And then really commit to prioritizing those practices. And poco a poco you will feel loads better. Your well-being is worth the time and effort!

Namaste

Cultivate adaptability through yoga and navigate change more easily

Yoga helps us cultivate adaptability so we can navigate change with more ease and less suffering

How do you handle change? As cancer survivors, we’ve sure had to traverse a lot of change, and much of it is not the good-change variety. Obviously some changes are easier to stomach than others. Changes like getting a new job, a best friend moving away, going through menopause, or kids growing up and leaving the house, can be challenging for sure. But changes like loss of a loved one, permanent side effects from cancer treatment, or a diagnosis of incurable disease, are quite different beasts. But one way or another, we ALL face some such changes every day, from the small ones to the really big, seemingly insurmountable ones, and everything in between. As Buddha says, change is unavoidable. So we might as well figure out how to maneuver through it.

But let’s face it, change is hard. Change, almost by definition, pushes us out of our comfort zone. Change can make us feel unstable, out of control, helpless, and afraid. And this fear of the unknown, this clinging to the familiar, and this need for things to stay a certain way, can really be overwhelming and wreck our sense of well-being and our happiness. They can create persistent tension in the body that is not only painful, but unhealthy. And they can prevent us from finding the joy and love that is still all around us, even in the midst of some of the most difficult change. Unless… we don’t let them.

One of the many things I love about yoga is how it teaches us to be adaptable, to calmly BE in a constantly changing environment, to accept each new moment with openness and curiosity, and to trust ourselves to be able to manage it (and if we can’t manage it, we can always sit down and take a break!). This is especially true in vinyasa or flow style practices, in which the sequence of poses is completely different every day, so we have no idea what to expect when we arrive to our mat. This trains us to arrive to each moment without specific expectations or desires, getting out of that habit of needing things to BE a certain way for us to feel good or to enjoy the moment. Of course we all have our favorite pose, favorite teacher, or favorite style. Not to mention our least favorites 😉 But we still come to practice, not knowing whether our favorite will be featured that day. And every time we get on our mat, we teach ourselves to more easily move through this constantly changing environment with ease, to pivot and adjust our footing when needed, to re-connect to our breath and our balance moment to moment, and to calmly and openly accept each next pose as it comes.

In addition to the physical practice of yoga asana simply exposing us to changing postures and sequences each day to cultivate adaptability, yoga philosophy and mindfulness also teach us adaptability through the yamas/niyamas and the mindful attitudes (which overlap in huge ways). For example aparigraha, or non-attachment, teaches us to let go of our attachment to things, to things being a certain way today, or to things unfolding in a certain way in the future. In this way non-attachment helps us find freedom and joy in each moment, regardless of whether it contains all of the specific elements we would have preferred. Similarly, the mindful attitude of letting go helps us navigate change by training us to let go of our tendency to want to control everything in our lives (which of course we can’t do even if we wanted to). Letting go reminds us of how much unnecessary struggle, tension, and suffering come from that tendency to try to exert control on our ever-changing world. Letting go can create a tremendous sense of ease and relaxation, once we learn to release all of that struggle and just address each moment as it presents itself. And finally, cultivating the mindful attitude of trust helps us find comfort in trusting our own ability to navigate whatever challenges arise, OR in trusting in a higher power or divine presence IF you are so inclined.

In all of these ways, yoga and yoga philosophy can have a profound effect on our ability to move through this ever-changing world with more adaptability and more ease. And by doing so, we connect with our happiness and our freedom.

Keep practicing!

Namaste