yogawithleona

Focus your awareness

Thich Nhat Hanh said “Awareness is like the sun. When it shines on things, they are transformed”. And it’s true, isn’t it? We all know that what we place our awareness on, or wherever we focus our attention, has a big impact on our mental state and therefore the condition of our lives. We can choose to keep our awareness scattered about in a million directions, and thus feel frazzled and overwhelmed. We can choose to focus intently on all of the sorrows and tragedies of the world, and thus feel sad and hopeless. Or we can choose to focus on the beautiful things in life for which we are grateful, and feel a full and content heart (even despite our difficulties). And we can focus on opportunities for growth and positive change and feel hopeful and optimistic.

Yoga teaches us to develop the ability to truly focus our awareness in the direction we choose. Through the 8 limbs of yoga, we learn to direct and maintain our attention and awareness in places we know are healthy, rather than allowing mindless meandering of our thoughts and consciousness into those unhealthy or maladaptive habits that are so easy to fall into. No judgement if you find yourself falling into those negative places in the mind. This is a natural phenomenon called negativity bias, in which our ancestors were trained to focus on the things in their lives that were a potential threat to their well-being. For example, historically it was more important to be aware of something that might kill you than to be aware of a beautiful flower. So we adapted, over millenia, the tendency to focus on things that are potentially threatening, to focus on the negative or frightening things in our lives. So we must learn to recognize that and train ourselves to overcome that tendency, developing the ability to focus our attention where we choose, like a focused beam of sunlight.

In the physical practice of asana, we learn to focus our awareness because we have to do so in order to balance or hold our bodies in certain positions. We also learn to focus our awareness through the many different types of meditation and breathing practices in yoga. So this training will allow us to also be able to direct our attention and awareness in the rest of our lives, off the mat. This may be especially important for us as cancer survivors, or for anyone who has particularly difficult or stressful life circumstances. Because for us, it is very easy to fall into habits of negative thought patterns, like fear or anger. It is so natural to focus and obsess on our fear of recurrence or death, or to be angry at our situation, and frustrated with the cards we’ve been dealt, but of course we know this isn’t healthy or helpful to our recovery. Instead, we can use what we learn on our mat, and first notice when these negative thought patterns arise, and then gently bring our awareness back to something better. We can use our breath, our gratitude practice, a mantra, or anything we choose as a tool to focus that awareness. And we just practice, over and over, with patience and compassion for ourselves, bringing our awareness back to that positive thing. With practice, this becomes easier and easier, and happens more naturally, and eventually those “bad” habits begin to fade away.

As BKS Iyengar said, “The study of asana is not about mastering posture. It is about using posture to understand and transform yourself”. So keep coming back to your mat. Keep practicing asana, and in doing so, keep practicing focused awareness. Develop the ability to direct your awareness like a beautiful beam of sunlight, and see how your life transforms for the better.

Namaste

p.s. This gorgeous beam of sunlight shining through the clouds occurred in Puerto Vallarta just a few days ago, and served as inspiration for today’s thoughts.

Finding strength in your inner light

So last Friday’s post was one that resonates with me strongly, about right use of energy, mainly addressing the need to slow down and rest sometimes. This is because I tend to be energetic and motivated, sometimes to a fault. I can push myself too hard, and wind up exhausted. This is not smart nor productive in the long run.

But the flip side of brahmacharya, or right use of energy, is just as important. That is, recognizing when you do have energy to push your limits, to build strength, to challenge yourself to do just a little more, including maybe things you’ve never done before. Because if we don’t challenge ourselves, we will never discover the true extent of our strength or possibility. As breast cancer survivors, in order to really challenge our limits, we sometimes have to confront fear. It is easy to be fearful, afraid that we just can’t do certain things because of our cancer treatment, or afraid that we might cause harm to ourselves if we try. This is one of my frustrations with some exercise offerings for cancer survivors, which just stay safe and only offer gentle yoga or other gentle types of activity, as though this is all we are capable of. Of course, gentle movement is extremely important at certain times, and so it does play a key role for us. But it isn’t the only thing we can do.

In my own recovery, I refused to believe that I would just be relegated to the gentle practice for the rest of my life. I was, and remain, intent on regaining the strength and flexibility to return to a full, strong, vigorous yoga practice. And I hope to convince you that you can do the same, IF that is what you are interested in. Maybe handstanding or other arm balances aren’t anything that you care about, and of course it is not important to develop any specific type of posture to be successful in your yoga journey. It isn’t about the individual postures themselves. What is important is using the physical practice to dig deep into yourself, to see your profound strength and resilience, to see your inner light, to learn to listen to that inner wisdom, and to there find the courage and confidence to challenge yourself to do whatever it is that you want to do. If gentle yoga is what you want and what you feel you really need, then gentle yoga is right for you. And there is nothing wrong with staying right there. But if you want a more vigorous practice, and you think it might be fun to learn new postures that look challenging, then drop the fear and trust yourself to try! We cancer survivors CAN do it. We just have to be a little more careful and a little more mindful than the average person, as we build the strength and flexibility necessary for more challenging postures. We have to take our time, slowly and methodically building our practice and making sure that at each new step our bodies are ready for the next challenge.

But being more mindful is one of the key things that the practice is about (and one of the ways the practice helps us in life off the mat). So in a way, being a cancer survivor, and having a few physical changes, like scar tissue, fibrosis, or asymmetry, actually makes the yoga journey that much better. Because we are forced to really be in tune with our bodies, to really feel what is going on as we progress in yoga, our practice truly becomes a meditation and a journey inward toward self-realization. And there, deep inside of us, where we see that inner light and get in touch with our true selves, is where all the good stuff is. Push yourself to get there and then take your time to see it. As Mooji says, “Step into the fire of self-discovery. That fire will not burn you. It will only burn what you are not”.

Namaste

Just a reminder

Happy Friday beautiful people! I’m just thrilled at how we are growing, with new members and followers each week! Keep up the awesome work with developing your yoga practice, and feel free to contact us if you have questions or need anything.

But also remember to be gentle with yourself. If you need days to just snuggle up with a great book and a cup of tea, don’t be hard on yourself for doing so. Listen to your inner wisdom and give yourself whatever you need. Sadhguru said “Discipline does not mean control. Discipline means having the sense to do exactly what is needed”. This is such an important lesson in yoga AND in cancer recovery. This is one of the ways to interpret brahmacharya, one of the yamas from Patanjali’s 8 Limbs of Yoga, here translated as right use of energy. Right use of energy means learning to listen to your body, to listen to your soul, and to really understand what you need to do, and act accordingly, to do exactly what is needed, as Sadhguru described. Learn to push when you have the energy for it, and to rest when your body needs that. Learn to be around people when that helps and raises your energy, but to have quiet solitude when that feeds your spirit better. This will teach you to remain in a perfect state of balance despite all of life’s ups and downs.

So I hope you are enjoying your friday, whatever that looks like for you. Maybe a super vigorous yoga practice, or maybe a quiet relaxing evening at home, or whatever it is you need today. Just make sure your soul is getting as much exercise as your abs.

Namaste

Flash sale!

Tomorrow is my official 4 year cancerversary! To say I am grateful to be alive and healthy is the understatement of the year. It has been quite an amazing 4 years with lots of changes, challenges, scares, and obstacles. But also lots of joy, blessings, gratitude, and growth. And the realization that (as a good friend and former patient used to say) there IS life after cancer! I’m so blessed to be physically well, to be surrounded by beautiful family and friends, to live in a gorgeous place with a healthy vibe, to feel emotionally strong and resilient, and to be able to pursue my passion – which is sharing the profound benefits of yoga with cancer survivors everywhere!
So let’s celebrate with a FLASH SALE! If you’ve been thinking about joining our unlimited video membership, and you want to learn how yoga can help you recover from cancer with more grace and ease, now is a great time! Starting NOW through tomorrow night, get 50% off the price of your membership by using the discount code “4yearswoot” at checkout! Look forward to practicing with you.
🧘🏽‍♀️💖🌸💖🧘🏽‍♀️

http://www.yogawithleona.com/product/yoga-with-leona-unlimited-membership/

Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?

Everybody loves a little Bob Marley, right? His music is so beautiful, soulful, fun, and relaxing. And some of his lyrics are really provocative. I love this one: “Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?”. In today’s culture, I think we often allow ourselves to stay so busy that we never even give ourselves time to ask these sorts of questions. To really look within and think about where we are, whether we are happy, whether there are changes we would like to make, and how to go about doing that. Instead we just mindlessly run from one engagement to the next, accepting this as our life, and not really thinking any more about it.

I know, because I used to be that way big time. About 8 years ago or so, I went to an all day yoga workshop with my step-daughter, who is actually the one who got me started in yoga in the first place (thank you, Erika!). It was a really great workshop with an amazing international teacher who was visiting Arizona. During one of the breaks, Erika and I were working on some of the things we had just learned, and I was watching her do a posture and trying to help with the new alignment tips. The leader of the workshop saw us, and came over, saying “Are you a yoga teacher? You should be a yoga teacher”, to which I sort of scoffed and said “Yeah right, I wish!”. He looked puzzled, and said “Why not?”. And I said “I’d have to quit my real job”. “Being a yoga teacher IS a real job”, he replied. I felt like such a dick. I didn’t mean to suggest that it wasn’t, but rather just that it wasn’t my real job. But that moment transformed me. I thought “well why can’t it be my real job?”. Just because I trained for 10 years in medicine and had then been building my practice for some years too, did that mean that I had no choice in the matter? That I had to do that forever, and couldn’t change gears and have a second, different career? I mean, why not? And that was the moment that opened my eyes to the possibility of truly changing my life to whatever I wanted it to be. To whatever would really make me happy and fulfilled.

Yoga encourages us to really look within. People often say yoga isn’t a “work-out”, it is a “work-in”, and this is a perfect description! Yoga encourages us to take the time to really feel our inner bodies AND to really listen to our inner wisdom, or intuition. This is sort of the opposite of mindlessly running around like chickens with our heads cut off. If we take the time to really listen and feel, we can then learn what we need to do next. Maybe nothing needs changed. Maybe we are perfectly happy and healthy and we are doing everything right. Then we just keep on as we are. But probably, for most of us, there are at least a few areas in which we could improve, or where we could develop better habits to make us healthier in body and/or mind. So give yourself some time to really think about what is most important. What really brings you joy? What fulfills you and makes you feel most content at the end of the day. What makes you feel your best? Maybe it is super simple, like watching your kids play football in the backyard. Maybe it is your work. Maybe it is having a quiet glass of wine at the end of a busy week with your partner and sharing your deepest thoughts. Maybe it is growing a garden, or learning to cook healthier foods. Maybe it is preparing for a 5k, or some other fitness outlet, or taking some classes on-line or at your local community college. As strange as it sounds, use your cancer as an opportunity to take a time-out and really look and listen to what you want and need, and then make the effort to prioritize accordingly. If you are really busy, maybe you need to cut some things out of your life to make time for the things you want to do? Stop watching tv, or looking at social media? Set better boundaries at work and stop staying late? Stop reading Leona’s blog (No! LOL). And you don’t have to do it all in one day. Little by little, work toward the things you want. Even if takes months or years. Your mental and physical health is in your hands. Empower yourself to take control.

So find some time this week, whether it is on your mat or somewhere else. Open your eyes, and look within. Are you satisfied, with the life you’re living?

Namaste

Navigating re-entry after cancer as a graceful dance

I listened to a TED talk the other day from a young leukemia survivor, who described the challenges of “re-entry”, or coming back to normal life after surviving a grueling 4 year cancer journey that included tons of inpatient chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant. This re-entry phenomenon is the time after active treatment, when we are “done”, and cancer-free, and ready to get back to our lives. Although, as this young cancer survivor described, it is never really quite that simple, and can be very challenging in ways different than active treatment. We don’t just flip and switch and go back to who we were before cancer. We are changed. There are physical changes, mental/emotional changes, changes in our values, changes in how we perceive the world around us, and perhaps even deeply spiritual changes. This young woman was graceful and beautiful, and described the process with honesty and vulnerability.

But as I was listening, I found myself a little perturbed. I am quite a stubborn person (as my poor husband well knows). And there are certain things that I just refused to believe, or accept, during and into my re-entry. So I was thinking to myself, “I don’t buy that. We don’t have to just accept weakness, or limitation, or that there are things we cannot do now because of our cancer history”. But as I was sitting there with my stubbornness, sometimes disguised as strength or resilience…. this quote came to me from BKS Iyengar:

“Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured, and to endure what cannot be cured”.

And along with the quote, the realization that the re-entry dance lies somewhere in between. In fact, as much as I don’t like to admit it, there may be consequences of cancer treatment that we cannot cure, no matter how stubborn and strong we are. I have a few. But there are certainly also things that we can overcome with a little persistence and effort. So it takes really listening to ourselves and our bodies to learn which are which. And to learn how to slowly and safely overcome the ones that we can (to cure what need not be endured), and to gracefully accept and learn to work with, instead of against, the ones that we can’t (to endure what cannot be cured).

And THIS is some of the magic of yoga. Yoga isn’t just stretching and strengthening our bodies. It does that of course, but it also helps us to dig deeper, diving inward to really get to know and understand ourselves on a deeper level, where we can really find that balance between effort and ease, between the strength to overcome and the equanimity to accept. We are each unique and different in where we lie on that spectrum, and in what we need to achieve that healthy balance. Yoga helps us to really see ourselves and what we truly need, and to then develop those healthier mental and physical habits, that will bring us peace, health, and clarity, to help our re-entry transform us for the better.

So step onto your mat, and let yoga teach you, as Iyengar said, to cure what need not be endured, and to endure what cannot be cured. Use what you learn to find that “new normal” that is better, healthier, and happier than you were before.

Namaste

(cute cameo in the photo from Howie, our latest rescue)

Learning patience

I have said before that research has shown that one of the qualities common to people who cope best with a cancer experience is being able to look at the experience as an opportunity; an opportunity to learn something, for personal growth, or to change one’s lifestyle for the better. So I have tried to embody this in my own cancer experience, seeing all of the ways that I have grown and become better as a result of my breast cancer, rather than focusing on any of the perceived “negatives”. In fact, if we really think about it, many of those “negatives” might actually be turned into positives if we can just train ourselves to see the things that we have learned from them.

One of the biggest lessons that I continue to learn from my cancer journey is patience. Anyone who knows me knows I have historically been one of the most impatient people alive. It makes me a terrible cook! LOL I am always watching the proverbial pot that then never boils! But I have finally realized that my impatience also makes me suffer unnecessarily. If I can just learn to be more patient, to trust that things happen when they are supposed to, to release my desire to control everything and my need to have things happen on MY timeline… then I can have so much more peace in my mind, and thus truly feel better all the time. I mean, why obsess over something when that will NOT make it happen any faster, right? So this really was a lesson that I needed to learn. And man, did having breast cancer give me a big serving of it! I always imagine a big spoonful of whatever I needed to learn being shoved right into my mouth. Mmmmmmm patience.

From the very first week of my diagnosis, waiting on my biopsy results and special stains, I just could not get the information fast enough. Then during chemotherapy, a couple of times my treatment got delayed because the meds didn’t arrive at the clinic, or there was some snafu with the insurance. And waiting that week (that seems like a year) for PET scan results to arrive! All of these things drove me really crazy, and challenged me to come back to my breath, to realize that my stress would not make things happen any faster, but instead just make me feel physically ill and miserable for however long I wound up having to wait. I learned (very slowly, admittedly) to just breathe deeply, release my impatience, accept whatever timeline the universe had in mind, and recognize that there was plenty of beauty in my life at that very moment that I could enjoy while I waited. In fact, I read some advice from Eckhart Tolle that said (paraphrasing) that we should learn to release the idea that we are waiting, that next time we are made to wait in the doctor’s office or in line at the post office, and when it is finally our turn and the person says “sorry to have kept you waiting”, we respond “oh, no problem, I wasn’t waiting, I was just enjoying the view” (or watching the kids, or enjoying a magazine, or whatever thing we find around us that can be interesting or enjoyable, rather than boiling up with irritation that we have been made to wait). Isn’t that great advice? So I try to use that. Full disclosure, I still get pretty impatient when waiting for those PET scan results or something sortof scary like that. But I am dramatically better than I used to be. And I thank my cancer experience for that. I am a much happier, more patient, less irritable person, thanks to breast cancer.

Interestingly yoga is a great teacher of patience as well. As you know, if you have practiced any yoga at all, our bodies aren’t often able to do certain things right away. It can take months and years to build the flexibility and strength that it takes to get into certain asanas. And so it is a key teaching in yoga to learn to NOT be so attached to the end result (yoga postures aren’t like prizes or badges that we collect or perfect), and to be content with just working on ourselves wherever we are on any given day. To recognize that all of the good stuff, the growth and the transformation, lies in the journey, not in the destination. So we must cultivate patience every single day on our mats, and recognize that wherever we are today, is right where we are supposed to be. We must open our eyes to whatever we are experiencing right now, rather than rushing off to a future time when we might reach some distant goal.

So whether you struggling with waiting on important steps in your cancer journey, or you are on your mat and working on a new asana, as Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Adopt the pace of nature, her secret is patience”. And if you find it difficult, you’re not the only one, so be patient with yourself 😉

Namaste

Find your inner joyfulness

Deepak Chopra said “Health is not just the absence of disease. It’s an inner joyfulness that should be ours all the time; a state of positive well-being”. As breast cancer survivors, we focus so much on the cancer-related stuff- labs, scans, medicine and side effects, follow up appointments- that sometimes it is easy to forget that we must continue to cultivate that state of positive well-being in our whole selves. Yes, of course it is wonderful and we feel immense relief and celebrate each time we get good test results, and we say “I’m cancer free!”. But we must learn to also place importance and attention on the rest of our being. We must remember to cultivate that sense of inner joyfulness, so that it can remain with us in the good times and the bad, when things are going great and when things occasionally get rough. This way we can learn to navigate all of those different situations with equanimity, with grace, and with ease. We are unf*ckwithable, as I like to say!

So what does it mean to you? What helps you to increase that sense of inner joyfulness? For some of us, it is as simple as spending time with those we love. For others, it might be time alone in nature. Maybe it is some type of spiritual practice, prayer, or meditation. Maybe it is exerecise, yoga, reading great books, petting your cat, or quietly sipping a great cup of coffee on a rainy morning. Spend a little time and really think about what things in your life increase your sense of inner joyfulness. What makes you feel truly good inside? And then figure out how to prioritize those, and spend more time doing them! Life can get busy and we often place importance on all of the other things we need to do. But remember that these little things are just as important to our true wellness as is taking our medication or doing certain medical treatments. And this is a part of our wellness that we CAN control. So give a try to letting go of your worry and thoughts about the cancer, and focus on cultivating your inner joyfulness. I think you will like how you feel.

Namaste

Using yoga to navigate the intersection of heart and mind

Paulo Coehlo said “The spiritual path can only be traveled through the daily experience of love”, and I couldn’t love this quote more. Of course he doesn’t mean only romantic love, but rather love as a state of being, love as a way of living, of going through life with a completely open heart, full of compassion and understanding for those around us and for ourselves, fully in tune with our intuitive heart, really feeling each experience deeply (not just thinking about it and judging it), and an eager openness to finding bliss in whatever life brings us.

Interestingly, I am traditionally much more of a cerebral, or thinking-mind- dominant person. I was always science and math oriented, and wasn’t good at believing or feeling anything that couldn’t be proven to me by documented facts. Then of course, living in the medical field for much of my life, that mindset was just solidified. Everything had to be proven in well designed, solid, scientific studies for me to give it much credence. I did, however, in caring for individual patients, have many moments of pure love, where the mind and the facts melt away, and true human connection just lays your heart wide open. Those moments were some of the best moments of my practice, although of course I also loved discussing the science behind cancer treatment and remain fascinated by developments in the field and new treatments that can cure many people of cancers that would have been lethal just a few years ago.

My yoga practice, over the years, has really helped me to be much more in touch with my intuitive heart, and to recognize and understand the intersection between mind and heart. In yoga we often say things like “Feel how your body is in the pose, don’t think about it”, to help us stop over-thinking and practice dropping into ourselves, into that space that is deeper than the mind, into our true selves, what some might call our soul. Yoga allows us to use our bodies as the doorway to that space. Most of the time, we run around controlled by our thoughts: what am I doing next, what do I think about that, what might go wrong, how I wish something were different, etc. Yoga trains us to be able to suspend those thoughts, even if just for a few moments, and just BE. To allow things like fear, anxiety, and judgement (which all come from too much thinking mind) to drop away, leaving peaceful freedom and open-heartedness, that state of being pure love. Of course the thinking mind often comes back into action, but the more we practice moving into BE-ing, the easier it will be and the longer we can stay in that blissful state.

Now this isn’t to say that our thinking mind isn’t a valuable tool! Of course it is. The thinking mind does amazing things for us. For example, the thinking mind can interpret the scientific research supporting yoga in cancer survivors! And you know I love science. While I do think it is of prime importance for us each to focus on how yoga works for us individually, how we truly feel on the inside when we keep up our practice, it also helps to know that there is sound science supporting those benefits as well.

The medical community has finally embraced mind body practices like yoga and meditation because the benefits have now been proven in scientific studies in many different conditions. There is extensive literature on the effects of yoga in cancer survivors. In fact, the American Society of Clinical Oncology (ASCO) endorsed recommendations originally made by the Society of Integrative Oncology (SIO), that include recommending yoga and meditation for: overall quality of life, fatigue, depression/mood disturbance, and sleep. These recommendations were published by Lyman et al in the Journal of Clinical Oncology (JCO), the premiere cancer publication, in 2018. Similarly, in a Cochrane Review (which analyzes multiple scientific studies together to come to an overall conclusion on the evidence), it was concluded that there was evidence to support the use of yoga in breast cancer survivors in improving health-related quality of life, reducing fatigue and sleep disturbance, and reducing depression and anxiety (Cramer et al Cochrane Database 2017). Further studies on other specific symptoms like lymphedema, chemo induced neuropathy, hot flashes, etc are ongoing. The science behind how yoga results in these benefits is fascinating, and includes deep effects on our nervous systems, immune systems, musculoskeletal systems and more! We are beginning to have a much better understanding of just how yoga works to make us feel and function so much better.

Navigating the line between mind and heart is something that we, as breast cancer survivors, have to do continuously. We must pay attention to details and understand scan and lab results, our medications and side effects, and new information that our doctors share with us at each appointment. But we must also learn to let go of too much thinking mind, which can exacerbate fear and anxiety, and prevent us from feeling our true open intuitive hearts. We must learn to live in a state of love and joy, despite the stressors and difficulties that might arise. I submit to you that yoga will help you do that. But don’t just rely on the science that states it is so. Do your practice, and really feel, in your body and in your heart, if it is true for you too!

Namaste

“You are the universe in ecstatic motion”

Rumi said “Stop acting so small; you are the universe in ecstatic motion!”. I love this quote because it just makes me feel my inner strength and resilience, my true self, my divinity, even. I think that a breast cancer experience (or any other difficult life experience, for that matter) can sometimes make us feel helpless, weak, small, and defeated. We can feel like we have no power to weather the storm, to turn the sails, and to come out the other side healthy and not damaged. And of course it is ok to have flashes of that mindset. It is only natural. But we must recognize that sort of thought pattern when it begins to arise, and change that inner discourse to something healthier and more empowering. Because in reality, we truly do have that power.

In the quiet moments of our yoga practice, when we can truly turn our awareness inward and allow the outer world to melt away, we can get in touch with that place inside of ourselves, where we have this power. And by power, I don’t mean like brute force power, or power we might use to control others. I mean that quiet, peaceful, imperturbable power and fortitude to withstand anything our life throws at us. I mean that dynamic flexibility and deep faith that allow us to gracefully roll with the punches, and not get disheartened when things get tough. Because they do get tough. That is just real life. We, as cancer survivors, have had to dig deep and find this inner strength and resilience over and over again, from the first diagnosis, through telling our loved ones, through different types of trying treatments, and through long follow ups and recurrence scares. But the truth is that we have infinite ability inside of us to handle life’s difficulties, if we can just learn to see it and to tap into it.

In Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras (the original written text on yoga), he says “Study thyself. Discover the divine”. Whatever our spiritual beliefs are, yoga can help us look deeply inside of ourselves and find that place of true power, that place of divinity, of the universe in ecstatic motion. Don’t let yourself walk around being anything less.

Namaste