Tag: yoga with leona

Mastering our breath

Krishnamacharya (often referred to as the father of modern yoga) said “Master the breath, let the self be in bliss, and contemplate on the sublime within you”. Further, Dr Andrew Weil said “If I had to limit my advice on healthier living to just one tip, it would be simply to learn how to breathe correctly”. These great teachers are just two who emphasize the importance of pranayama, or the 4th limb of Patanjali’s 8 limbs of yoga.

The sanskrit word “prana” means life force energy, or the very essence of the energy that animates us and the universe around us. “Prana” is also used to refer to the breath, through which we are believed to breathe that life force energy into and around our bodies. And so “pranayama” can be translated as breath control, or a way to master our breath, and thereby to master and optimize our life force energy. Pranayama is a key aspect of yoga, and the way by which many of the benefits of yoga are realized in the body and the mind.

We all know that the quality of our breath relates directly to the goings on inside of us. When we are anxious, stressed, or in pain, it is common for our breath to quicken and become shallow and irregular. On the other hand, when we are relaxed and at ease, the breath is slow, deep, and rhythmic. And importantly, this is a two way street, and can turn into a cycle. When we purposely slow and deepen our breath, our nervous system sends a signal to our brains that everything is ok, activating the relaxation response, and triggering a relaxing cascade of events in the body and in the mind, bringing us back from any stressor that might be occurring. Therefore you can see the massive benefits of learning to be able to control your breath.

Pranayama is an integral part of having an effective yoga asana practice, in that we must be able to maintain that calm, deep, diaphragmatic breath while we practice asana to translate all of the benefits into our bodies. We must maintain calm breath to balance, to hold postures for the prescribed time, to bring plenty of oxygen to our muscles and our brains, and to activate that relaxation response in the midst of effort, thereby training our bodies and minds in resilience and equanimity.

Pranayama is also a key aspect of meditation. We often use the breath as a tool to help us dive into meditation, to help maintain our focus and concentration, and to relax our bodies while we meditate. The breath can also help us be more effective in our practice of the yamas and niyamas, as taking a deep breath in the face of any stressor can give our minds the pause they need to stop habitual reactive patterns and instead engage with something healthier like non-attachment or contentment.

There are many different types of pranayama, from simple equal breathing (matching length of inhale and exhale, with focus on slow calm breath) to complex practices using alternate nostrils or forceful inhalations, or exhalations, or both, utilizing abdominal wall musculature. However, they are all easy to learn if you are interested and just take a little time. These practices increase lung capacity, improve gas exchange, strengthen your diaphragm and abdominal muscles, promote lymphatic fluid return, tone that parasympathetic nervous system, build focus and concentration, and so much more. If you want to learn more detail, check out my educational video on the topic.

I have used pranayama too many times to count in my dealings with breast cancer over the past 4 years. For example, when I am in panic mode awaiting scan results, I come back to my breath and practice any of the relaxing pranayamas, and the fear and anxiety melt away naturally. When I was in pain from mucositis related to chemotherapy, I used pranayama to minimize the sensation of pain. When I can’t sleep for whatever reason, I use pranayama to relax my body and mind. If I’m a little sluggish and need more energy before practice, I use an energizing pranayama and perk right up. When I am frustrated with insurance hassles, I come back to my breath and remember not to let these little things get me down. When I am working hard on my yoga mat, trying to continue to improve my post-mastectomy chest wall tightness, I breathe slowly and calmly to help me patiently stay in the positions. You can imagine endless scenarios in which having better mastery over your breath could come in handy and help you live a happier, more joyful, more stress-free life.

So I encourage you to pay some attention to your breath, recognize the true power it holds, and learn to make it work for you.

Namaste

Running is hard

Taking a short break from our journey through the 8 limbs today, let’s talk about embracing the totality of our experience, including both the delightful and the difficult parts, as Pema Chodron encourages us to do in today’s quote. This of course relates to several areas of yoga philosophy, such as non-attachment and contentment, or learning to find our happiness and joy even when things aren’t going exactly the way we would like them to. This is a hard pill to swallow, but such an important one, in that it trains us to not allow our life circumstances (which inevitably change and sometimes really suck) to direct our inner experience, our state of consciousness, our bliss. Too often we allow that outer experience, or the way we perceive that outer experience, to ruin our mood, to block our ability to see the beauty all around us, to obscure all the things for which we are grateful, to interfere with our happiness, and to cover up our true state, that deep inner sense of peace and bliss. Who wants to go around like that??!

I know at least that I do this, because I’ve been doing a quite a bit of it the past few days, and especially today. I’m writing this blog to help pull myself out of it. You all know that I am an avid yogi, and have been practicing yoga for many years. My practice is strong and full, and while I can’t do everything I’d like to be able to do, in general I am very happy and fulfilled by the state of my yoga practice. I feel like my body is strong and resilient, and perhaps in as good a shape as I have been in for many years. For some crazy reason, I decided that I would sign up to run a 5k through a cancer support group that I love, called SheStrong. I hadn’t gone on a run in over 5 years, though I do walk and hike a little bit here and there. In the past (like in my 20s and 30s), I used to run now and then, but whenever a breast cancer run came up (like the Komen or others that were annual things in Tucson), I would just go out and run them without any real preparation. This year, I gave myself a little over 2 weeks to prepare for this 5k, thinking that should be ample time. I started out slow, and ran 1 mile, and then a few days later 2 miles. Then on my third run, I decided to try a different pair of shoes (which I now realize wasn’t too smart), and overall felt a little stronger running, BUT I finished the run with some moderate pain in one ankle (I think it’s an Achilles tendon issue). At first, I thought it was just the shoe, and that it would resolve quickly. I did the usual, ice, ibuprofen, rest. The pain got a little better over the following few days, though never resolved completely. This morning I decided to go try to run again (in my original better shoes), knowing that I might have to go slow, or even stop a few times throughout the run. Sadly, I couldn’t run at all. Walking was ok, but every time I tried to run, or even jog at the slowest possible pace, the ankle pain really flared up. I wondered whether I ought to just keep going and push through the pain. But I decided that wasn’t smart, and that I might make the injury worse if I did that. But I felt pretty dejected, frustrated with my body, disappointed that I will probably have to walk, not run, the 5k (which is in just 1 week) if I can even finish it at all. My usually strong and resilient body doesn’t feel quite so. 🙁

However, as I was walking back from my failed run, I was lucky enough to be able to look out over the ocean, breathing in a nice warm ocean breeze. I took a few nice deep breaths and I realized how silly I was being. Is it really that big of a deal if I can’t run the 5k? I mean, my dear friend just started chemotherapy this week for recurrent ovarian cancer, and she is staying positive and strong. Surely I’m not going to whine over this ankle injury and let it ruin my attitude and my day. So I came back to everything I’ve learned through yoga philosophy AND through my own cancer experience. Here are a few of the important ones:

  1. Patience. I know the ankle will heal and I’ll probably even be able to run again someday if I just give it the time it needs to recover. If you’ve read my prior blogs, you know patience is NOT my strong suit, but boy does having cancer give you a big dose of it. I guess I just needed another dose this week. Thanks Universe.
  2. Ahimsa, or non-harming, in this sense toward myself. I must listen to my body and really hear what it needs, rather than force my will and desire to complete some task on myself and end up worsening my injury. I must not let my ego result in self-harm.
  3. Contentment and gratitude: Even though I couldn’t run, I was able to go for a short walk and breathe a little ocean air. I am grateful that my body is as healthy as it is, and for all of the other things I am able to do, including my yoga asana practice, which isn’t really limited by the ankle injury. I recognize that so many others have more difficult problems than I do, and I am really fortunate in so many ways. A minor ankle injury really isn’t that big of a deal.
  4. Non-attachment. What is the big deal about running this 5k anyway? It really isn’t important,except to my ego. Just let it go.
  5. Self-study, what can I learn from this last week? I learned that, while I am very strong and capable on the yoga mat, other forms of exercise tax our bodies in different ways, and I need to be a little more cautious with my body. After all, I’m no spring chicken (as my mother recently told me LOL), and my body has been through a lot in the last 4 years. I learned lessons in patience, ahimsa, contentment, gratitude, and non-attachment as above. I learned that I have some control over how I respond to things that happen. I can choose to be upset and frustrated and feel dejected and weak. Or I can roll with the punches, brush off that negativity, remember how much progress I’ve made in my recovery in other areas, be kind to my body and allow it to heal, cultivate self-love and compassion, and find the joy in today, whatever that looks like.

So that’s my story today. I’m working on developing inner strength, inner peace, equanimity, and unwavering joy, by embracing both the delightful things and the difficult things in my life. But I’m not perfect by any means. That is why I continue to practice, continue to study, continue to learn, and continue to grow. So that I might be the best human being I can be. Yoga helps us do that. Running, I’m not so sure about (LOL, just kidding! I’ll try again once I am healed).

Namaste friends

Yoga asana in breast cancer

So let’s keep moving along in our discovery of the 8 limbs of yoga! We have discussed the yamas and the niyamas, and that brings us to the 3rd limb, asana. As you probably already know, asana refers to the physical practices, exercises, or postures, which are what most people think about when they hear the word “yoga”. So asana is often the first limb that people begin to practice, as was the case for me. When I started practicing yoga, I had no idea about the other 7 limbs, nor any idea of the depth of my inner space that I would reach through yoga. I had no idea about the idea of self-realization or inner exploration, nor how yoga would affect my mind and spirit, just as much as it would my body. And I think asana is an excellent place to start, because the body is such a perfect entryway to the deeper aspects of yoga. As Dr George Sheehan says “The mind’s first step to self-awareness must be through the body”.

So yoga asana refers to a wide variety of physical postures, which are practiced in many different sequences and many different styles of yoga. From chair yoga to restorative yoga, to yin yoga, ashtanga yoga, and vinyasa yoga, there are styles out there for every person and for every different stage of each individual’s life. As Krishnamacharya famously said “If you can breathe, you can do yoga”. Yoga asana can be very slow and gentle or extremely vigorous, depending on which style you practice. Yoga asana moves the body into different positions to strengthen the physical body, improve flexibility, and optimize the flow of energy, and therefore the physical health in the body. But yoga asana also strengthens and focuses the mind, training our bodies and nervous systems to maintain a state of relaxation, even under challenging conditions. Yoga develops self-awareness of both body and mind, such that we are much better at feeling and recognizing what is going on inside of us. Even without knowing it, yoga asana trains us to breathe better (we’ll get to pranayama in the next blog), and to develop focus, concentration, and a moving meditation (we’ll get to dharana and dhyana eventually as well). Importantly, yoga asana doesn’t just mean learning or mastering fancy postures such as handstand or one legged balancing poses that look pretty. The word asana actually translates to “seat” referring to a seat one would take for meditation practice. So asana, originally, was designed to prepare us in body and mind, for meditation.

So for us as cancer survivors, you can see how important asana practice is in terms of the benefits that yoga brings. For me personally, yoga asana is key in keeping my radiated chest (and adjacent shoulder) supple, open, and pain-free. Yoga asana helped return range of motion and strength to that shoulder. But maybe more importantly, yoga asana empowers me, reminding me of my inner strength and resilience. It has trained my body and mind to be able to quickly return to relaxation after any type of stressor, be it mental or physical. For example, when fears of recurrence creep in, as they occasionally do, I am now more aware of them, and so able to take a few deep breaths, and redirect my energy and attention to a healthier thought pattern. I am also much more in tune with my body and mind, so that I can better recognize when I need to rest or regroup, rather than just pushing myself to the max all the time. Yoga asana helps me get out of my head, and into a place of mental stillness and peace. Yoga asana, for me, is my favorite type of meditation, a moving meditation. And even if I get stressed out and emotional about some life situation, I can do my asana practice, and know that I will feel better, more relaxed, and have more clarity afterward.

I could go on and on. But I’ll stop here and encourage you to think of all the ways your yoga asana practice has affected or helped you along your journey. Just keep practicing and know that those benefits will just continue to deepen the further you go on this beautiful inner journey called yoga.

Thanks so much for following along with me

Namaste friends

Stoke up that inner fire

Before we move on from the niyamas, let’s discuss another one of them, called tapas, also known as self-discipline, or inner fire. Tapas refers to that fiery commitment inside of us that drives us to do the things we know are good for us, the things that we know will take us in the direction we want to go. Whether that means toward a healthier lifestyle, professional development, educational goals, simply a more joyful state of being, spiritual evolution, or whatever you are trying to cultivate in your life, tapas helps us get there. And of course we all know that in order to achieve anything, we have to put forth continued effort over a period of time. As Henry David Thoreau so eloquently put it “As a single footstep will not make a deep path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives”. So of course this refers to physical practices like yoga, but also to our thought patterns and behavioral habits. In order to make progress in any area of our lives, we must find and stoke that inner fire, that self-discipline that helps us remember why we are doing something. For example, why do you practice yoga? Is it because is helps calm your mind? Makes your body feel less stiff or inflexible? Maybe it helps with chronic pain of some kind? It helps you feel empowered, like you know you are doing something good for yourself? Or maybe you just feel that “yoga buzz” after you practice and you feel generally good all over? Tapas is that fiery voice inside of us that reminds us, when we are lapsing into laziness or old bad habits, that we know deep inside we will feel better when we do what we know is good for us. Tapas reminds us why we are doing what we are doing, and what we are working toward.

However, it is important, to stay really in touch with our inner voice, so that we don’t let our tapas turn into self-harm. We must not push too hard, and get into over-exercising, energy depletion, or injury. This is a great example of where one of the niyamas (tapas) and one of the yamas (bramacharya, or right use of energy) really complement each other beautifully. While tapas teaches us to stay committed and disciplined on our path, bramacharya reminds us to listen to our bodies and our spirits to really know what is the right use of our energy. And that pushing harder isn’t always the right answer. So as in my pic, “Discipline does not mean control. Discipline means having the sense to do exactly what is needed” (Sadhguru). On that particular day, my cat felt that what he really needed was a nap, while I was feeling strong for practice! 😉

I think this is important for everyone, but especially important for us cancer survivors. Our bodies and minds are going through extreme stresses and fluctuations as we go through treatment and into recovery, and we must really learn to be in tune with ourselves so we can do exactly what is needed. There will be days when what we need is a nap. And there will be days when we have the energy to push ourselves and challenge our bodies and minds to see where we can go. We will be best able to get in tune with our true selves when we learn to find some stillness, some peace, and some presence. Fortunately yoga, breathing, and meditation all help us here! So keep practicing, find your stillness, tune in to your inner space, and then you will know exactly what you need to do.

Namaste

The niyamas in breast cancer recovery

Continuing on our exploration of yoga philosophy and the 8 limbs of yoga, as originally outlined by Patanjali, let’s discuss the niyamas, or the 2nd limb. The niyamas can be described as duties, inner observances, or guidelines for the way we interact with ourselves. As with the yamas, there are 5 niyamas:

  1. Saucha: cleanliness or purity (of body, mind, energy)
  2. Santosha: contentment
  3. Tapas: self-discipline, inner fire, dedication
  4. Svadhyaya: Self-study
  5. Isvara Pranidhana: Surrender, either to a higher power, or just to the present moment, letting go, releasing control

So, as with the yamas, I won’t expound on all of them here, or you’ll never finish reading this post! I’ll focus today on my favorite niyama, the 4th one, svadhyaya. As BKS Iyengar beautifully expresses, “Yoga is a mirror to look at ourselves from within”, and yoga indeed helps us to explore and understand ourselves. Practicing svadhyaya helps us become more self-aware, better able to observe the things that we do and think, and then to begin to understand why we do them, and how they affect us. This allows us to then work on avoiding thoughts and behaviors that are harmful to us, and to pursue more of the thoughts and behaviors that help us move in the direction we want, toward our higher selves, toward peace, truth, wellness, and joy.

In yoga asana, self-study is huge in helping us understand the physical part of our practice. Where are we resisting the pose? Where can we soften more to achieve more flexibility? Why do we love certain poses and avoid others? (You know they say the poses we hate the most are probably the ones our bodies need the most!) Can we translate any of that to our lives off the mat?

In relating svadhyaya to our breast cancer journeys, what have you learned about yourself through your cancer experience? Do you need to be more patient? To learn to accept help from others? To release anger or the need to control every detail? Do you need to work on releasing fear? Developing trust? Empowering yourself? Did having cancer make you more compassionate and understanding with others? Did you learn to take better care of yourself? In all of these ways (and probably many others you can think of), we can see how studying ourselves through our cancer experience can help us see the good things that can come from this crummy disease. We can turn it into an opportunity for growth and development, to make ourselves into our newer, better selves. This outlook will help us feel more at ease with the situation, more optimistic about the future, and more joyful in the moment.

Finally, spend a little time considering the other niyamas and how they might relate to your life. For example, saucha encourages us to keep our thoughts clean and pure, and avoid putting toxic ideas and energy into ourselves (via movies, fighting with people on the internet, obsessing over the news, or otherwise). Santosha encourages us to find contentment in the present moment, despite whatever difficulties we might be facing. Tapas encourages us to maintain our self-discipline in the things we know are good for us, such as taking our medicine, eating healthy, or exercising. And Isvara pranidhana can be so helpful in releasing our need for control, in trusting the universe or our higher power, in finding peace and grace in our situation.

So as for the yamas, I hope that reflecting a little on the niyamas will help you, as it has me, in traversing this crazy breast cancer journey. As always, be patient with yourself. And just keep practicing.

Namaste

The 8 limbs of yoga in cancer survivorship

By now you’ve heard me say 100 times “yoga is so much more than just asana (postures)”, and you’ve seen discussion about individual yamas or niyamas in some of my blogs, so you may be thinking “what in the world is she talking about?!”.

The original written text on yoga, The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, written nearly 2000 years ago, outlined an 8-limbed path to freedom or enlightenment, a holistic guide for all parts of our lives. Yoga asana, or the physical postures/exercises, now commonly understood to equal “yoga” is really just one of these 8 limbs. So let’s learn, briefly, about the whole system.

1. Yamas: Moral guidelines, restraints, how we deal with the world

2. Niyamas: Duties, inner observances, how we deal with ourselves

3. Asana: physical postures

4. Pranayama: breathing practices

5. Pratyahara: withdrawal of/from the senses

6. Dharana: focus, concentration

7. Dhyana: meditation

8. Samadhi: Bliss, enlightenment

In a fabulous TED talk, I recently heard a woman (who is a psychotherapist and a yoga teacher) describe Patanjali’s 8 limbs as “the original cognitive behavioral therapy”! And it truly is! It is a comprehensive guide to practices that will positively affect every corner of our lives, making us kinder, happier, healthier, more peaceful, more patient, more understanding, more fulfilled human beings, more in line with our true selves and our purpose. And maybe, eventually, with enough practice, we reach that place of pure joy and bliss, completely free from suffering of any kind. I believe that we, as cancer survivors, can benefit from this path and these practices as much (or maybe more) as anyone!

So asana is just one part of the system. However, it can be a great starting point, and a springboard to developing our practice of all the other limbs. For example, asana practice clearly encourages pranayama, pratyahara, and dharana. And with time, your asana practice truly becomes a moving meditation, or dhyana. So as we grow our asana practice, we automatically develop in the other areas as well.

It is important to clarify that yoga is not a religion. This system of practices is compatible with whatever spiritual or religious tradition you already identify with. In fact, as you progress in yoga practice, you may become even more connected to whatever spiritual practice you currently have, because of the way yoga helps us become more in touch with ourselves, understanding our true natures, our higher selves, our inner wisdom, and our truth.
If you are interested in more, and how this relates to cancer recovery specifically, check out my educational video on the topic.

In any event, keep practicing and know that if you begin to feel better in general, more peaceful, physically healthier, more at ease in your own skin, more connected to those around you, more compassionate, and more joyful — those are sure signs that you are doing it right, and yoga is working for you, regardless of what your postures look like.

Namaste

Finding strength in your inner light

So last Friday’s post was one that resonates with me strongly, about right use of energy, mainly addressing the need to slow down and rest sometimes. This is because I tend to be energetic and motivated, sometimes to a fault. I can push myself too hard, and wind up exhausted. This is not smart nor productive in the long run.

But the flip side of brahmacharya, or right use of energy, is just as important. That is, recognizing when you do have energy to push your limits, to build strength, to challenge yourself to do just a little more, including maybe things you’ve never done before. Because if we don’t challenge ourselves, we will never discover the true extent of our strength or possibility. As breast cancer survivors, in order to really challenge our limits, we sometimes have to confront fear. It is easy to be fearful, afraid that we just can’t do certain things because of our cancer treatment, or afraid that we might cause harm to ourselves if we try. This is one of my frustrations with some exercise offerings for cancer survivors, which just stay safe and only offer gentle yoga or other gentle types of activity, as though this is all we are capable of. Of course, gentle movement is extremely important at certain times, and so it does play a key role for us. But it isn’t the only thing we can do.

In my own recovery, I refused to believe that I would just be relegated to the gentle practice for the rest of my life. I was, and remain, intent on regaining the strength and flexibility to return to a full, strong, vigorous yoga practice. And I hope to convince you that you can do the same, IF that is what you are interested in. Maybe handstanding or other arm balances aren’t anything that you care about, and of course it is not important to develop any specific type of posture to be successful in your yoga journey. It isn’t about the individual postures themselves. What is important is using the physical practice to dig deep into yourself, to see your profound strength and resilience, to see your inner light, to learn to listen to that inner wisdom, and to there find the courage and confidence to challenge yourself to do whatever it is that you want to do. If gentle yoga is what you want and what you feel you really need, then gentle yoga is right for you. And there is nothing wrong with staying right there. But if you want a more vigorous practice, and you think it might be fun to learn new postures that look challenging, then drop the fear and trust yourself to try! We cancer survivors CAN do it. We just have to be a little more careful and a little more mindful than the average person, as we build the strength and flexibility necessary for more challenging postures. We have to take our time, slowly and methodically building our practice and making sure that at each new step our bodies are ready for the next challenge.

But being more mindful is one of the key things that the practice is about (and one of the ways the practice helps us in life off the mat). So in a way, being a cancer survivor, and having a few physical changes, like scar tissue, fibrosis, or asymmetry, actually makes the yoga journey that much better. Because we are forced to really be in tune with our bodies, to really feel what is going on as we progress in yoga, our practice truly becomes a meditation and a journey inward toward self-realization. And there, deep inside of us, where we see that inner light and get in touch with our true selves, is where all the good stuff is. Push yourself to get there and then take your time to see it. As Mooji says, “Step into the fire of self-discovery. That fire will not burn you. It will only burn what you are not”.

Namaste

Just a reminder

Happy Friday beautiful people! I’m just thrilled at how we are growing, with new members and followers each week! Keep up the awesome work with developing your yoga practice, and feel free to contact us if you have questions or need anything.

But also remember to be gentle with yourself. If you need days to just snuggle up with a great book and a cup of tea, don’t be hard on yourself for doing so. Listen to your inner wisdom and give yourself whatever you need. Sadhguru said “Discipline does not mean control. Discipline means having the sense to do exactly what is needed”. This is such an important lesson in yoga AND in cancer recovery. This is one of the ways to interpret brahmacharya, one of the yamas from Patanjali’s 8 Limbs of Yoga, here translated as right use of energy. Right use of energy means learning to listen to your body, to listen to your soul, and to really understand what you need to do, and act accordingly, to do exactly what is needed, as Sadhguru described. Learn to push when you have the energy for it, and to rest when your body needs that. Learn to be around people when that helps and raises your energy, but to have quiet solitude when that feeds your spirit better. This will teach you to remain in a perfect state of balance despite all of life’s ups and downs.

So I hope you are enjoying your friday, whatever that looks like for you. Maybe a super vigorous yoga practice, or maybe a quiet relaxing evening at home, or whatever it is you need today. Just make sure your soul is getting as much exercise as your abs.

Namaste

Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?

Everybody loves a little Bob Marley, right? His music is so beautiful, soulful, fun, and relaxing. And some of his lyrics are really provocative. I love this one: “Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?”. In today’s culture, I think we often allow ourselves to stay so busy that we never even give ourselves time to ask these sorts of questions. To really look within and think about where we are, whether we are happy, whether there are changes we would like to make, and how to go about doing that. Instead we just mindlessly run from one engagement to the next, accepting this as our life, and not really thinking any more about it.

I know, because I used to be that way big time. About 8 years ago or so, I went to an all day yoga workshop with my step-daughter, who is actually the one who got me started in yoga in the first place (thank you, Erika!). It was a really great workshop with an amazing international teacher who was visiting Arizona. During one of the breaks, Erika and I were working on some of the things we had just learned, and I was watching her do a posture and trying to help with the new alignment tips. The leader of the workshop saw us, and came over, saying “Are you a yoga teacher? You should be a yoga teacher”, to which I sort of scoffed and said “Yeah right, I wish!”. He looked puzzled, and said “Why not?”. And I said “I’d have to quit my real job”. “Being a yoga teacher IS a real job”, he replied. I felt like such a dick. I didn’t mean to suggest that it wasn’t, but rather just that it wasn’t my real job. But that moment transformed me. I thought “well why can’t it be my real job?”. Just because I trained for 10 years in medicine and had then been building my practice for some years too, did that mean that I had no choice in the matter? That I had to do that forever, and couldn’t change gears and have a second, different career? I mean, why not? And that was the moment that opened my eyes to the possibility of truly changing my life to whatever I wanted it to be. To whatever would really make me happy and fulfilled.

Yoga encourages us to really look within. People often say yoga isn’t a “work-out”, it is a “work-in”, and this is a perfect description! Yoga encourages us to take the time to really feel our inner bodies AND to really listen to our inner wisdom, or intuition. This is sort of the opposite of mindlessly running around like chickens with our heads cut off. If we take the time to really listen and feel, we can then learn what we need to do next. Maybe nothing needs changed. Maybe we are perfectly happy and healthy and we are doing everything right. Then we just keep on as we are. But probably, for most of us, there are at least a few areas in which we could improve, or where we could develop better habits to make us healthier in body and/or mind. So give yourself some time to really think about what is most important. What really brings you joy? What fulfills you and makes you feel most content at the end of the day. What makes you feel your best? Maybe it is super simple, like watching your kids play football in the backyard. Maybe it is your work. Maybe it is having a quiet glass of wine at the end of a busy week with your partner and sharing your deepest thoughts. Maybe it is growing a garden, or learning to cook healthier foods. Maybe it is preparing for a 5k, or some other fitness outlet, or taking some classes on-line or at your local community college. As strange as it sounds, use your cancer as an opportunity to take a time-out and really look and listen to what you want and need, and then make the effort to prioritize accordingly. If you are really busy, maybe you need to cut some things out of your life to make time for the things you want to do? Stop watching tv, or looking at social media? Set better boundaries at work and stop staying late? Stop reading Leona’s blog (No! LOL). And you don’t have to do it all in one day. Little by little, work toward the things you want. Even if takes months or years. Your mental and physical health is in your hands. Empower yourself to take control.

So find some time this week, whether it is on your mat or somewhere else. Open your eyes, and look within. Are you satisfied, with the life you’re living?

Namaste

Navigating re-entry after cancer as a graceful dance

I listened to a TED talk the other day from a young leukemia survivor, who described the challenges of “re-entry”, or coming back to normal life after surviving a grueling 4 year cancer journey that included tons of inpatient chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant. This re-entry phenomenon is the time after active treatment, when we are “done”, and cancer-free, and ready to get back to our lives. Although, as this young cancer survivor described, it is never really quite that simple, and can be very challenging in ways different than active treatment. We don’t just flip and switch and go back to who we were before cancer. We are changed. There are physical changes, mental/emotional changes, changes in our values, changes in how we perceive the world around us, and perhaps even deeply spiritual changes. This young woman was graceful and beautiful, and described the process with honesty and vulnerability.

But as I was listening, I found myself a little perturbed. I am quite a stubborn person (as my poor husband well knows). And there are certain things that I just refused to believe, or accept, during and into my re-entry. So I was thinking to myself, “I don’t buy that. We don’t have to just accept weakness, or limitation, or that there are things we cannot do now because of our cancer history”. But as I was sitting there with my stubbornness, sometimes disguised as strength or resilience…. this quote came to me from BKS Iyengar:

“Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured, and to endure what cannot be cured”.

And along with the quote, the realization that the re-entry dance lies somewhere in between. In fact, as much as I don’t like to admit it, there may be consequences of cancer treatment that we cannot cure, no matter how stubborn and strong we are. I have a few. But there are certainly also things that we can overcome with a little persistence and effort. So it takes really listening to ourselves and our bodies to learn which are which. And to learn how to slowly and safely overcome the ones that we can (to cure what need not be endured), and to gracefully accept and learn to work with, instead of against, the ones that we can’t (to endure what cannot be cured).

And THIS is some of the magic of yoga. Yoga isn’t just stretching and strengthening our bodies. It does that of course, but it also helps us to dig deeper, diving inward to really get to know and understand ourselves on a deeper level, where we can really find that balance between effort and ease, between the strength to overcome and the equanimity to accept. We are each unique and different in where we lie on that spectrum, and in what we need to achieve that healthy balance. Yoga helps us to really see ourselves and what we truly need, and to then develop those healthier mental and physical habits, that will bring us peace, health, and clarity, to help our re-entry transform us for the better.

So step onto your mat, and let yoga teach you, as Iyengar said, to cure what need not be endured, and to endure what cannot be cured. Use what you learn to find that “new normal” that is better, healthier, and happier than you were before.

Namaste

(cute cameo in the photo from Howie, our latest rescue)